The Supposedly Secret Diaries
by Galea
Summary: Mild cursing... The characters thought their diaries were private...but they aren't! You can read them here! Read and Review!
1. The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Gimli

Disclaimer: Still don't own LOTR…though have not been trying all that hard of late…

This is a set of diary entries from characters of LOTR. Spoilers to TTT probably, just to warn you.

The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Gimli

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Day 1

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Joined some Fellowship today. Only did it to annoy elfboy. Very satisfied elfboy angry. We leave on a big long important journey in a few days.

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Where do those damn elves keep the snack table?

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Day 5

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On journey. Old man who thinks he knows all is rather annoying. I bet he does not even know what direction we are travelling in. Fellowship comprised of prissy elfboy, four children-like men, two real men (though one is crazy and one has poor hygiene) and the old man who thinks he knows all. This should turn out interesting.

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Day 11

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Have not written for a long time. We ran into trouble on a mountain, now we are in Moria. Very fun to be home again…though it is eerily quiet. Can't wait to eat something…elven provisions not very filling.

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Day 14

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Finally out of cave. My cousin is dead…Not sure where the rest of the family is. Just glad to be out. Heading towards a forest now. Non-hygienic man is leading. He is not bad, except for the fact his hair is greasy…and he smells. This should be fun.

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Day 17

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Forgot to mention we lost the old man. I was not sorry to see him go. Little men were traumatized. Learned they are actually called hobbits. Who knew their kind had a name? Elfboy is still as much of a nuisance as usual…

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Day 18

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In the forest, ruled by elves. Some strange lady was reading my thoughts today. I bet she was surprised to find me unimpressed. Food was not bad, though I wish there was more meat.

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Day 23

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Wow! Time just flew past in that weird forest. We are leaving now. For some reason I have a crush on the elven-wench. Rather annoying. Lost the little guys today, now I am with prissy elf and dirty man to try and get them back. Other man met his demise…arrows, three of them…Painful. 

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Day 27

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On the trail of the little guys. Dirty man in lead. Came across another band of men today. The leader was cruel, made fun of my height…or lack of. He gave us horses. Have to share with elf. 

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Day 32

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Old man is back. He has a new outfit. It does not make him look that much younger. Other two were happy to see him. At least the dirty man is not the leader anymore. Going to a kingdom to help an old tired king. I thought it best we leave the poor man alone. But no one listens to the dwarf.

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Day 37

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Big battle today, it was fun. Got to show off my flying skills. Made the dirty man promise not to tell the elf, who would have surely tormented me. Damn elf beat me at a killing contest…curse my ability to not be able to count past 27! Now we are going to some other place…should be interesting as well.

There you have it! The first chapter! Please review!


	2. The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Aragorn

Thanks for the reviews! Here is another diary I managed to dig up!

The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Aragorn

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Day 1

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Met a hobbit today…he is rather cute…has some ring thingy he needs to take some where far away…I thought I might accompany him and three friends, since there is nothing else to do. Ah it is so hard being me.

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Day 5

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Almost lost the little guy today…Fortunately/Unfortunately, my most favourite {Ha, NOT} person managed to save the little buggar. Met with Arwen today, she looked HOT! She gave me her immortality. As she did, very bad ideas went through my head, but I kept it, deciding to keep it incase it came in handy in the near future.

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Day 7

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Joined the Fellowship today. We are escorting main hobbit {Frodo by name} to a hole in the earth to destroy that ring I mentioned earlier. Along with us came Frodo's little friends, Gandalf, Prissy Elf {My god, half the baggage is his hair products!}, a dwarf {Gemli? Gomli?} and a human with an over-plucked beard. This sounds like an entertaining trip. Again, something to do.

Note to self: Man with weird beard (ah, a career in poetry perhaps?) is not to be trusted…That lazy eye of his is scary, always watching Frodo.

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Day 15

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Mountain very cold…elf is annoying us all with ability to walk on snow…he is prancing…

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Note to self: Dancing, prancing {Ooo, I am such a poet!} elf needs to be eliminated.

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Day 17

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This cave is so damp and cold. I swear I look like a drowned rat…very upsetting, but I think Arwen would still want me. Gandalf leading…I wanna lead! 

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Day 20

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Lost poor Gandalf today…and guess what! He left me in charge! Boo-ya! SCORE! I am so happy…I almost forgot to lead them **out** of the cave…heh heh, they didn't notice…I think…

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Day 21

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My first assignment, I am taking them all to Lothlorien! GO ME!

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Day 22

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Arrived in Lothlorien today…man that Galadriel is c-r-e-e-p-y! She was reading our minds…she really scared the over-plucked beard man…he came to me for comfort before bed…Do you think it wrong of me that I told him he was doomed? He threw something at me when I was contentedly singing. I think he was just mad, but the comment of, "Shut-up you wanna be" almost put me in tears.

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Day 27

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Left happy little forest today…I think I miss it already…it was a nice place to practice my vocals…Though it was upsetting when people threw things at me…Oh well, they were just jealous. Over-plucked beard man died today…Can't say I grieved much, though I surprised myself when I kissed him…Then for some reason I questioned sexuality. Frodo and tag-along went on their own today, and the rest decided to follow ME {SCORE!} to find and rescue the other little dudes…Gandalf would be proud.

Note to self: NEVER question sexuality again.

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Day 31

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We met with Èomer today…he was nice…made fun of dwarf…I laughed. He gave us horses, led us to other hobbits, which led us to Gandalf!! Was rather upset about having to give up leadership…oh well, maybe the old man will die soon…he is REALLY old after all…On route to help some king…much like myself…Speaking of which…*sniff* Why can't **I** be king?

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Day 33

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Forgive me for not writing, but I fell off a cliff and got lost. It hurt. Got a new pony! Always wanted one…Made people worry about me…specially the pretty blonde one, Èowyn. Must say, she **is** lovely…

Appearance: I look like a drowned rat {again!} and I have a black eye…

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Day 34

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Decided to woo Èowyn today…sang her a love song…Just can't figure out why she was holding her ears and screaming in agony…She probably just had a headache…

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Day 36

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Battle at Helm's Deep today…got to throw Dwarf…seems I did not throw him far enough. I impressed everyone with my amazing jumping…they were awe-struck to my satisfaction. Now we are going to rescue the hobbits…I am starting to wonder why I am not King…

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	3. The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Arwen

This was just lying around, she needs to be more careful…

The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Arwen

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Day 1

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Went out to find Aragorn today. I found him with four hobbits, and he was letting one of them die. But thanks to me, I managed to save the little guy by racing back to my home and using **MY** extraordinary healing powers. Man I am good. Had a date with Aragorn…for some strange reason I gave him my immortality…oh who am I kidding!? For some reason I love the guy…

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Day 3

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I was so proud of Aragorn! Today he joined the fellowship to take some ring and destroy it cause it is 'evil'. I wonder how it would look on **MY** ring finger…Even though Aragorn is great…I some times wonder if he is above showers…cause he sure could use one once in awhile.

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Day 6

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Considered leaving this place today…it is sooo boring! Glorfindel will not leave me alone! He keeps going on about how I, "Stole his part." He is soo annoying sometimes!

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Day 10

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Must this place be so boring!? I have no idea how I am going to live long enough to see Aragorn come back…it is so bore some here, I am considering suicide now.

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Day 12

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Aragorn sent me a recent picture of himself today…He looked like a drowned rat. I bet he though I still wanted him…I was considering asking for my immortality back…Well maybe he is just not as photo-genic as I am…

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Day 18

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Daddy was being an a-hole today. He tried to explain to me that I may never see Aragorn for as long as I live…I was crushed…but maybe he is right, have not gotten another picture…

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Day 24

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Suspect Aragorn may be cheating…will keep you informed.

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Day 25

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Am almost positive Aragorn is cheating…

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Day 26

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Saw the wench Aragorn may be cheating with in a dream. She is hideously ugly! Blonde hair, grey eyes, and she looks to be cranky…Someone woke up on the wrong side if the bed I'll say!

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Day 28

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Today Aragorn fell off a cliff {What a dope!} and I saved him by talking to him via dream-wave. Now that he has the Evenstar back {I can't belive he LOST IT! IDIOT!} I can keep a closer watch on him…Make sure that wench does not make a move.

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Day 29

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I think Aragorn was singing today…That might explain the millions of birds flying as fast as they could away from Helm's Deep…Wonder why he was singing…I pity whoever heard, my ears still ache from the last time he sang me a serenade…

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Day 31

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Daddy told me that Aragorn fought a big battle today…I hope he made me proud…

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Day 32

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I am so bored that I decided I am going to go to The Grey Havens…unless Aragorn gets back sooner, but he will have to do some serious ass-kissing to make me stay…

Note to self: Before leaving, kill the bloody blonde bitch.

I am aware that Elrond healed Frodo…but Arwen seemed very sure of herself…so I decided not to argue…Another diary coming soon for a public viewing near you! REVIEW!


	4. The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Frodo

Wow! Another Diary! I am gonna have to tell you the story of where I keep finding thse someday…

The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Frodo

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Day 1

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Had to leave the Shire today. It was so sad, I am going to miss everyone so much. Gandalf gave me Bilbo's ring to take far away cause it is evil. I wanna go home!

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Day 2

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Now I find out there are things chasing me! Luckily Sam, Merry and Pippin are with me! I why those ugly things are chasing me?

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Day 3

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Met a nice man named Aragorn today! He is really cool, one of those Ranger's. he is taking me and my friends to Rivendell! Sam always wanted to go there!

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Day 8

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I can't believe it! I got stabbed and only woke up today! Luckily Elrond is such a good healer and managed to save me! ^_^_ I also got to ride with Arwen, she is so pretty!_

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Day 9

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I am part of a Fellowship! I am taking the ring to Mordor to destroy it cause it is even more evil then I thought! With me are Sam {Bless him!} Merry, Pippin, Boromir, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn. We are going to have so much fun together!

Day 17

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This mountain is so cold! The snow is far too deep for us hobbits, so Aragorn is carrying Sam and me! Very nice of Aragorn. Legolas can walk on snow, elves are so talented! Even is they are very concerned about their looks…

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Day 20

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My Moria is ever so _scary! I am glad Sam and everyone else is here to protect me!_

Day 22

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I can't belive it! Gandalf died today! It was so sad! I miss him so much! Now Aragorn is leading {he seems glad to do so} and he is taking us all to Lothlorien, should be fun! More elves!

Day 24

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In Lothlorien…The Lady is Galadriel and she can read minds! It is so pretty here! I am glad we get to stay for such a long time!

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Day 25

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Galadriel showed me her mirror today. I saw dark and evil things. What I saw was what will happen if I do not get the ring to Mordor…I have decided to finish the mission on my own, cause I don't want anyone else to get hurt. 

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Day 29

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We left Lothlorien today. Sad to say goodbye to pretty place. Sam and I are off on our own now. I was going to go by myself, but Sam would not take no for an answer! He is so nice to come and face the perils of the missions with me!

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Day 30

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Gollum tried to get the ring today. Sam and I took him prisoner, and he has agreed to take us to Mordor. I do not like Gollum, he is kinda creepy. But I will not judge till I get to know him better!

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Day 32

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Sam was looking at me kinda funny today…A big happy smile. So I waved and smiled back and his grin got wider…I also think he was watching me in my sleep last night, wonder what he was doing that for…??

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Day 35

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Faramir caught us today! He wants me to use the ring to fix his city and would not listen when I told him that it would not work! Whatever will I do? I also found out that Boromir died defending Merry and Pippin! How sad, I had a cry for him.

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Day 37

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Faramir let us go today! He is so nice! A Nazgul on wings almost caught me, but dear Sam saved me!

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Day 38

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Well, Sam and I are back on the road with Gollum. Sam is very close to my side, I am glad to have such a fine protector. I wonder what Gollum means when he talks about 'she'??

There you have it! Frodo's diary! There will be updates more often on this fic after tomorrow, since tomorrow is the day I have my last exam...*whimper* Nah, I am not nervous…*nods* Ok I am! Lol! I do not like exams! 

Review!


	5. The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Boromir

This one is short, though I must compliment the handwriting, anything but chicken scratch! Enjoy!

The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Boromir

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Day 1

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Arrived in Rivendell. Tush is sore from all that riding. Oh well, at least I am finally here…something bout a council. I met this guy today, he is really evil I swear…And so DIRTY! I had to force myself to keep from gagging.

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Day 2

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Council was today. I got into a BIG fight, daddy would be proud. I heard that ring call to me today…man, it's gonna be the death of me I swear. Joined the Fellowship, different people going, should be interesting.

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Day 7

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Not much has happened, cept for A LOT of walking…Good thing I am so athletic or I would have died about two days ago.

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Day 10

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Mountain is cold. I also had that ring in my clutches, damn ranger. He hates me I KNOW it…

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Day 12

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This cave is just a little creepy…thing flying at your head…Makes one rather uneasy.

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Day 15

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Gandalf died today, poor bloke. We also got out of the cave…got attacked by a cave troll…whew what a day! Now that bloody ranger is leading…I don't like him. What he does not know is that I know that he almost forgot to lead us out of the cave.

Note to self: What you know can be future blackmail.

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Day 17

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I hate it here. That evil white woman was inside my head and TAUNTING me! I almost cried it was so scary what she told me. Went to the ranger for help…don't know what I was thinking. Got to throw a boot at him, he thought it was cause he told me I was doomed, but it was really cause he was singing! My God! My ears still ache from it….I pity the woman he woos, for she will probably get an earache as well.

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Day 22

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Well, you will never guess what happened today. I DIED! Can you believe it! It was all the hobbits fault…the one the ring that really did bring about my death. I was impaled with three arrows…orcs arrows, man they hurt! As I lay there dying, that bloody ranger came and KISSED ME! That confirmed my suspicions about his sexuality.

Note to self: Orc arrows must be avoided AT ALL COSTS!! .

While you wait for the next diary, leave me a review please!


	6. The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Éowyn

Disclaimer: Take yourself over and see the first chapter.

Sorry I have not updated in awhile, but I have been doing other things and life has brought along semester 2 in school…We are now here with another diary, so enjoy!

The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Éowyn 

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Day 1

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My uncle is victim of some weird condition that makes him not care about anything. It was really upsetting to see him not even care that his son died…He does not even spoil me anymore! I am feeling very left out…He lets Éomer go off and do whatever he wants…

Day 2

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Things are so boring around here…And for some reason Wormtongue is trying to get me to love him…I swear, if things don't shape up around here, I am going to accept his proposal for marriage…I think I just may be able to see past that forked tongue...Oh who am I kidding?

Note to self: If you marry Wormtongue, suggest plastic surgery

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Day 5

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Oh you will never guess what happened! I now believe in love at first sight! A guy came today and my goodness he was gorgeous. I was so caught up by his eyes that I missed his name…

Note to self: Find out hunky guy's name.

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Day 7

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Well the hunks name is Aragorn and he is, I swear, the love of my life! He has some nice friends too…Even a great wizard dressed in white that fixed my uncle! All in all it was a good day.

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Day 10

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Considering killing oneself…Hunky guy has a GIRLFRIEND! NOOOOOOO!

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Day 11

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Got a better idea, kill the girlfriend, snag the prize!

Note to self: Elves like shampoo…Perhaps bait?

Day 12

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OMG! Aragorn fell! I heard from the dwarf…I have to go and cry now…

Note to self: Well, at least the elf can't have him.

Note to self: WHY DOES ARAGORN HAVE TO LEAAVE ME! I LOVED HIM!

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Day 13

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He came back! Oh my goodness he returned to me! I KNOW he was happy to see me…he had that look…you know the one. That darn elf had to give back the slave necklace to Aragorn however…Might have to get rid of that elf too…

Note to self: Blonde elf likes shampoo even more then the evil elf.

~*~Later That Day~*~

Aragorn came to me and I knew he was going to try and woo me…Unfortunately I re-considered my love for him when he sang to me. It was like…the most horrible sound you could ever imagine…All the birds left and flew away as fast as they could. Since I did not want to be rude, I stayed, but I held my ears and screamed involuntarily…Thankfully, he thinks I just had a headache…Which I did after he finished…My head is still pounding…

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Day 15

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Big battle at Helm's Deep today…I got stuck with the crying and whimpering women….I WANTED TO FIGHT! IT'S NOT FAIR!

There you have it, Éowyn's diary…Stay tuned next time for another diary…


	7. The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Legolas

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After a long break I am back with yet another diary!

The Supposedly Secret Diary Of Legolas

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Day 1

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Had to attend a council today…We have to take some ugly ring to a huge hole in the ground. The ring was probably the worst thing ever, I mean, I have seen iron look better made as a ring, and we *all* know how tacky that is…Ended up joining the Fellowship…Much to my annoyance, some dwarf came along…How he annoys me! 

It was also upsetting that I could only bring one one hundredth of my beauty products…{A/N: Remember that Aragorn said half the baggage was Legolas' products…I mean, how much does he have!?}

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Day 9

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I am so glad I am an elf! I am able to walk on the snow whilst the other members of my company have to trudge through it! I think that they are all jealous…By the look in the Ranger's eyes, I think he wants to destroy me…

Note to self: Ran out of skin moisturizer, be sure to pick up more.

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Day 11

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Well, my time to shine has passed as we are now in a cave…It is really…dark…and there is no clean water for me to wash my hair in…Thankfully our leader, Gandalf, promised it will only be about a four day journey to the other side.

Note to Self: Speak to the manager and see about getting a beauty salon somewhere in this dreary place.

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Day 14

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Sadly, we lost our noble leader Gandalf today…Now that annoying Ranger is leading us…On a more serious note, I broke a nail and lost my file over the bridge…I am not sure how I will live.

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Day 16 

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The ranger has now taken control over our group…I hope he allows time to stop and bathe.

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Day 17

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We got to Lothlorien today…Galadriel sure is evil. I saw her looking at me with hate in her eyes…I knew it was because she was jealous of my wonderful complexion and my perfect hair.

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Day 22

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Left that little forest today…Turns out Galadriel is not that bad…We spent many a nights braiding each other's hair and exchanging our little secrets…

That blasted bloke Boromir died today…Can't say I am sorry…Mean more shampoo for me!

Aragorn actually kissed the man…I knew he was gay.

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Day 26

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The old "wizard" {highly doubting his status} retunred to us today is a white glory…Bloody fool…The show was so cheap I demanded my money back.

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Day 28

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Stupid fool Aragorn came back today…What a moron, he fell off a cliff for Valar's sake! He looked worse then I do without any make-up on!

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Day 29

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My elvish ears are shriveled. That is to say Aragorn tried to woo the lady of Rohan today…I still get shivers just thinking about it…For an apparent King, he cannot sing worth…anything! Not even no name shampoo!

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Day 31

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Big battle today…Cripes, they interrupted my mud bath to tell me we were being attacked…Shot many orcs…Broke another nail…what horrible luck I have.


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